Xpress Wrestling

Contender Posts : 1723 Age : 30 Location : Dublin

On the monitors, screens, whatevz, static appears and is replaced by the image of Adam Cahill standing against a white backdrop. It seems like a shoddy home-made video. The quality is low and that reasoning is further enhanced by the shaky hands of the cameraman.

Adam Cahill: "Hello everybody, if you didn't catch Xpress Wrestling Live! - and if you didn't, what the hell WERE you doing? - I made my debut on national television. For those of you who aren't fortunate enough to have ever witnessed a great little wrestling league called Irish Championship Wrestling, I severely doubt that you know who I am. Let me introduce myself for those who aren't yet aware of my presence in Xpress. I'm Adam Cahill, the man who fought an empire and I have never been pinned in a professional wrestling contest. I have a reputation for being a backstage menace, perhaps the reason I haven't been scouted or signed prior. To be perfectly honest I was weighing up an option to come here or go to EFNW - I can say that right? EFNW? [we hear indistinct mumbling from the cameraman] I can't? Oh fuck it. - ANWAYS, I came here, to Xpress Wrestling. Where the future lies. And guys? I am the mo'f'n future. As I'm sure you can tell from the nature of this video, I have yet to be afforded such luxurious as the rest of the boys in the back. But that's fine Lyndon, I'm okay with changing in the hallway. Seriously, it's cool. There are few people who I hate in this World. In fact, unless your British, chances are I'll love you. Don't get me wrong, the Brits are absaloutely deadly crack but I wouldn't use the L-word. As I was saying, there are very few people I hate in this world but I hate idiots. Faymen Fortune, you are an out and out idiot. You are so ludicrously stupid, that I'd rather stab myself in the bollocks with a pen-knife than attempt to hold a conversation with you ... I'm serious, I hate that gee-bag THAT much. You wrestle cause your bored, you got signed because you were some one-hit wonder Rockstar, you're a junkie. Now don't get me wrong I enjoy the odd spliff or five but apparantly you couldn't roll down a hill let alone roll a joint. You are in the business for all the wrong reasons. Me? I wanna please all the guys that still shell out their hard-earned shillings to come and watch a form of entertainment that for some unbeknownst reason still thrives, - [undistinct mumbling] there's only a minute left on the recording? FUCK! ... - I see the PPV headline - Xpress Wrestling 1; Ricky Lackett versus Harry Jones and I'll be honest my eyes light up. One day, one day soon it's going to read Xpress Wrestling; Adam Cahill versus Some Unlucky Bastard. That's a promise. Faymen Fortune, when you're standing across the ring from me this time next week, and those pre-match thoughts are running through your mind, remember this ... I'm Adam Cahill and I've never been pinned in a professional wrestling contest."

The video cuts off.

Rookie Posts : 1228

The music of the man known as Dan Williams blares throughout the arena and even though he has by far the best theme and talent in the business nothing but boos comes from the crowd. Even though it's his usual crowd reaction he gives them a look of "What the fuck is your problem" Could it be that expensive pinstriped suit he was wearing with the black dress shirt and white tie? What about those shoes that shine like they were polished that morning? Could it be because he is hardly ever seen indoors without wearing his trademark aviator shades? There is no doubt that the kid has all the talent in the world but one of the worst attitudes that one man could have. The fans boo him because of his attitude that he's the best and that the only person in the world that matters to him is the one he sees in the mirror. He has his hair slicked back and pushed into a pony tail tonight. He knows he looks great. He knows that he can have any fuckin woman he wanted and that all they are good for is their pussy and their mouth "As long as that mouth is closed around the dick cause Dan Williams likes the bitches that don't talk" A couple fans stick their hands over the rail to touch the world famous athlete but he leans away from them like they are leapors. He gently climbs into the ring being sure not to allow the clip on his tie to slide an inch. He is offered a mic but decides to decline the one that Xpress Wrestling offers stating that he is to good to touch anything that one of the lower privaledged performers used, instead Dan reaches into his pocket and pulls out a microphone of his own. On the area where it usually says "Xpress Wrestling" it says "Best Ever" with a version of his signature logo and finally the man speaks.

Dan Williams:
By a show of hands who is undefeated here in Xpress Wrestling?

Dan Williams raises his hand and looks around at the crowd as they logically can't do the same thing

Dan Williams:
That's exactly what I thought, untill you people are undefeated in this business like yours truelly you have no room for critisization. In fact if anything I should be the one critisizing you. Should I point out the immediate flaws that you people have on Jacob Adam's or anything not Dan Williams related t-shirts? I think that the fact that your city is known more for it's crime than anything else made me expect nothing less. I mean look at you people the clear observation that you women in attendance toss to us is that you are not quite all there in the head in fact you people are criminally insane to the point that one might happen to call you a fuckin prostitute. Now you people will say "Hey just because the women in this area are fuckin whores doesn't make them criminally insane", but that's where I say just look whose dick they are sucking. Have you overweight bafoons ever thought of this brand new invention cardio or I don't know lifting weights might be a good thing? Just imagine if you were the ONE non fat person in this city you would have the clear advantage over everybody else, GIVEN you STILL will never be as sexy as me and will never have the perfect body like I do. Now enough about the progressive failures of this place because the fact of the matter is I don't really give a fuck where we are there is a VERY important topic that needs to be discussed....ME. That's right you people have not had your daily dose of Dan Williams and now that we are here and I've pointed out all your flaws I can point out all of my perfections for instance I have the single best winning percentage in the history of Xpress Wrestling and wrestling in generall I am currently performing at a 100% winning rate and there are no signs of me slowing down anytime soon. If you people happen to notice your precious Adams has yet to defeat me like he promised you and yet you still decide to chear him. You still decide that you would prefer someone that would like to decieve you over somebody who is a proven winner. Somebody who has yet to deter from any of his promises I told you people I would be victorious and I was. I told you that Adams was no match for me and of coarse I was right. You people just go out and act as if I am some sort of fluke from being undefeated in my mixed martial arts career. I've fuckin ended the careers of so called legends, obviously you have yet to see someone step up and prove they are in my league in anything I do. I would claim to be the Michael Jordan, the Bobby Hull, the Babe Ruth, the Richard Petty, or the Peyton Manning of professional wrestling however that is no longer necesarry because at times people question weather any one of those men were the best of their sports, there is no man on this earth, this company or any others that could deny that I am the greatest gift to wrestling, I was what sat under neath the Christmas tree of wrestling wrapped in golden wrapping paper. Yet you people boo me. I've come to the frank conclusion that it's obviously jealousy. It's the fact that you people have accomplished border line nothing in your lives while I've accomplished everything I've ever wanted to and will never faulter. Maybe if you were half of the man I was you would be just another Jacob Adams.

Dan Williams starts exiting the ring before grinning and pointing to the screen which shows Dan Williams hooking up with Jacob Adam's sister

Dan Williams
Oh by the way Adams, she's just another bitch to me. Your sister or not

He grins and gets out of the ring to the jeering of the fans and he heads backstage clearly playing some head games with Adams

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 29 Location : Emerald

[Cage the beast booms out of the speakers as the crowd roars loudly for their favorite MMA Fighter Jacob 'Beast' Adams, Jacob comes onto the stage dressed in his MMA gear. He stares right out into the crowd, he then softens up and grins. He shouts DAN WILLIAMS WILL NEVER BEAT ME IN THIS RING! The whole crowd begins to chant Knock him the fuck out! Jacob walks down the ramp and slaps the fans hands before sliding into the ring he stares at the mike before speaking]

"I am sorry I did not come out and shut Dan down but I was busy destroying Dan's locker room. Merry Christmas buddy! I hope you like it! Anyways this past week I lost in the Main Event but I am not ashamed to say I like to lose. You see when I lose I know I did not train hard so I go back into gym and train until I can't move my body. I sharpen my skills. Unlike Dan Williams I don't go around trying to hook up with girls. He says he is one of best in the ring? Woah, I am really taken back by that comment! Dan Williams you called yourself all these names some I don't even know! But seriously dude, I call myself one name Jacob 'Beast' Adams! My name does not need to be changed to suit the big bosses up stairs! I know I promised these guys I would beat you but I have not done that yet. But I am not giving up on that promise I will beat you one way or another. You know I am coming for you you know how strong I am. You have felt my leg kicks, I could of broken your ribs! Dan you say you were unbeatable in MMA? Heh, fine. I have been thinking about this for awhile. How about we battle in a MMA match? Something different for the fans. I am going to break your streak in that match. You see I am one of the best submission artists in the world, and I can also knock you out. I know I have got a match with you at the Pay-Per-View but I want to battle you one on one on the next show! I want to beat you on the show I want beat your ass next week and then at the PPV I will break you! I look around this arena I see the fans wearing my gear, they choose to live by the truth, they believe Jacob Adams will make Dan Williams tap out! These guys only boo you as you think no one can beat you. Oh how wrong you are! One person will beat you and that will be me! Once I lock in a submission you are fucked! Chant with me "Dan will get fucked up!" [The crowd chants as Jacob lifts the mike up before pulling it back down] Hear that? The crowd can feel it. I can feel it! I am going to beat Dan Williams! So Dan I will see you next week in this ring for our MMA match, please turn up or I will come find you and skull drag you to the ring!"

[Jacob 'Beast' Adams throws the mike and leaves]

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 29 Location : Emerald

OOC:

Good promo Dan, good read.

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 28 Location : Australia

John, chatbox fool, good to see some promos up, expect an Andrew Thorn one soon

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 29 Location : Emerald

Jakey I am at school I will be on tonight.

["The Classic" Kevin Evans arrives at the arena and heads straight to Jake Lyndon's door and knocks twice]

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 28 Location : Australia

Here at Xpress Wrestling we believe in Wrestling and not Mixed Martial Arts, so next week Dan Williams and Jacob Adams will not be battling in an MMA bout
---------------------------

[Kevin Evans enters and says whatever he needs too]

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 29 Location : Emerald

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:: Here at Xpress Wrestling we believe in Wrestling and not Mixed Martial Arts, so next week Dan Williams and Jacob Adams will not be battling in an MMA bout
---------------------------

[Kevin Evans enters and says whatever he needs too]

Jacob sends Jake Lyndon "I hate you" text.

----------------------------------------------------------------

[Kevin Evans enters the rooms and offers his hand]

"My name is Kevin Evans, nice to meet you sir. I am here to talk about the card for next week. Could I make an appearance? I want to see if the Irish Adam is any good in the ring before I challenge him"

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 28 Location : Australia

John TPA wrote:

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:: Here at Xpress Wrestling we believe in Wrestling and not Mixed Martial Arts, so next week Dan Williams and Jacob Adams will not be battling in an MMA bout
---------------------------

[Kevin Evans enters and says whatever he needs too]

Jacob sends Jake Lyndon "I hate you" text.

----------------------------------------------------------------

[Kevin Evans enters the rooms and offers his hand]

"My name is Kevin Evans, nice to meet you sir. I am here to talk about the card for next week. Could I make an appearance? I want to see if the Irish Adam is any good in the ring before I challenge him"

Jake Lyndon Kevin, I'm aware of who you are, I wrestled you, defeated you and signed you to a contract. As for Mr. Cahill, he's already organized a match with Faymen Fortune. As for you, I'll try and fit you in somewhere.

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 29 Location : Emerald

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:

John TPA wrote:

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:: Here at Xpress Wrestling we believe in Wrestling and not Mixed Martial Arts, so next week Dan Williams and Jacob Adams will not be battling in an MMA bout
---------------------------

[Kevin Evans enters and says whatever he needs too]

Jacob sends Jake Lyndon "I hate you" text.

----------------------------------------------------------------

[Kevin Evans enters the rooms and offers his hand]

"My name is Kevin Evans, nice to meet you sir. I am here to talk about the card for next week. Could I make an appearance? I want to see if the Irish Adam is any good in the ring before I challenge him"

Jake Lyndon Kevin, I'm aware of who you are, I wrestled you, defeated you and signed you to a contract. As for Mr. Cahill, he's already organized a match with Faymen Fortune. As for you, I'll try and fit you in somewhere.

[Kevin Evans takes his hand back and looks Jake dead in the eye]

"I don't care what it is I will do it! I want to be on the show next week!"

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 28 Location : Australia

John TPA wrote:

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:

John TPA wrote:

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:: Here at Xpress Wrestling we believe in Wrestling and not Mixed Martial Arts, so next week Dan Williams and Jacob Adams will not be battling in an MMA bout
---------------------------

[Kevin Evans enters and says whatever he needs too]

Jacob sends Jake Lyndon "I hate you" text.

----------------------------------------------------------------

[Kevin Evans enters the rooms and offers his hand]

"My name is Kevin Evans, nice to meet you sir. I am here to talk about the card for next week. Could I make an appearance? I want to see if the Irish Adam is any good in the ring before I challenge him"

Jake Lyndon Kevin, I'm aware of who you are, I wrestled you, defeated you and signed you to a contract. As for Mr. Cahill, he's already organized a match with Faymen Fortune. As for you, I'll try and fit you in somewhere.

[Kevin Evans takes his hand back and looks Jake dead in the eye]

"I don't care what it is I will do it! I want to be on the show next week!"

[Lyndon looks down at his penis before slowly turning his glance to Evans. He shakes his head]

Jake Lyndon Like I said Kevin, I'll see what I can do. Now if there isn't anything else I can do for you ... close the door on your way out.

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 29 Location : Emerald

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:

John TPA wrote:

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:

John TPA wrote:

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:: Here at Xpress Wrestling we believe in Wrestling and not Mixed Martial Arts, so next week Dan Williams and Jacob Adams will not be battling in an MMA bout
---------------------------

[Kevin Evans enters and says whatever he needs too]

Jacob sends Jake Lyndon "I hate you" text.

----------------------------------------------------------------

[Kevin Evans enters the rooms and offers his hand]

"My name is Kevin Evans, nice to meet you sir. I am here to talk about the card for next week. Could I make an appearance? I want to see if the Irish Adam is any good in the ring before I challenge him"

Jake Lyndon Kevin, I'm aware of who you are, I wrestled you, defeated you and signed you to a contract. As for Mr. Cahill, he's already organized a match with Faymen Fortune. As for you, I'll try and fit you in somewhere.

[Kevin Evans takes his hand back and looks Jake dead in the eye]

"I don't care what it is I will do it! I want to be on the show next week!"

[Lyndon looks down at his penis before slowly turning his glance to Evans. He shakes his head]

Jake Lyndon Like I said Kevin, I'll see what I can do. Now if there isn't anything else I can do for you ... close the door on your way out.

[Kevin face palms before leaving]

"Dirty fuck.."

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 28 Location : Australia

>>As “Pop Goes The Weasel” begins to play into the jam packed arena, the lights dim and the crowd erupt with boos. Thorn crawls out onto the stage with a single green spotlight on him. He springs to his feet and full sprints down the ramp and slides into the ring as the spotlight colour changes rapidly. He rolls to his feet and screams abuse over the top rope at Leroy Thompson at the commentary booth. He holds his hand out and is offered a mic. Marasaki Hamosuki places it in his hand and Thorn reaches over with his other arm trying to grabs Hamosuki he weasels away. Thorn takes large steps back to the centre of the ring as the spotlight focuses on him<<

Andrew Thorn “Each and every day, the boys and girls like to say; ‘Andrew come outside and play’ so I run them over. [Thorn laughs and the crowd boo] On Xpress Wrestling Hunter said he’d like to play, so we played … BUT HE DIDN’T PLAY FAIR! HE CHEATED SO I KILLED HIM! I CHOKED HIM WITH HIS LITTLE TOE NAIL AND HE’S DEAD!!! HUNTER J IS DEAD!!! [Thorn begins crying uncontrollably and the crowd seem confused. He drops to the mat and starts punching it hard] WHY HUNTER!?! WHY!?!? [The crowd are even more confused. Suddenly Thorn sits up and the look in his eyes is psychotic. He begins laughing] GOTCHA! [The fans boo wildly before starting a ‘Hunter J! Hunter J!’ chant] I didn’t kill Hunter, I just … I just … I just hurt him, a l-l-l-little. ONLY A little! [Thorn’s left eye begins twitching] Hunter, me and you at Xpress Wrestling 1; Harry Jones versus Ricky Lackett, I get to f-f-f-f-face you in an EXTREME RULES RASSLIN MATCH! No rules, just me, you, chair, ladder, trash can, stick, broom, toilet and your HIV! [‘Hunter’s Gonna Kill You’ chants break out] Hunter, you-you-you YOU ARE A HUNTER. You like to hunt people, and you like to bash and kill and eat them … we-we-we-well, well, well Mr. J at Xpress Wrestling 1, you’re gonna be Hunted J! ‘Cause I’m gonna break your neck and drink your veins! HAHAHAHAHA! YOU AND ALL YOUR OTHER PRECIOUS LETTERS! Z, F, Q, L, M, they’re all gonna die with you! You and your family will die … except A, I like A, I am A! [‘WHAT!?!’] WHAT! [‘WHAT!?!’] WHO! [‘WHAT!?!’] SHE FUCKING TEMPTED ME! [Thorn begins eating his fringe] Hunter, at Xpress Wrestling 1, I’m, I’m going to cut you open and chew your he art! I’ll eat your HE ART!”

>>Having had enough Hunter J’s music booms and out he comes<<

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 29 Location : Emerald

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:: >>As “Pop Goes The Weasel” begins to play into the jam packed arena, the lights dim and the crowd erupt with boos. Thorn crawls out onto the stage with a single green spotlight on him. He springs to his feet and full sprints down the ramp and slides into the ring as the spotlight colour changes rapidly. He rolls to his feet and screams abuse over the top rope at Leroy Thompson at the commentary booth. He holds his hand out and is offered a mic. Marasaki Hamosuki places it in his hand and Thorn reaches over with his other arm trying to grabs Hamosuki he weasels away. Thorn takes large steps back to the centre of the ring as the spotlight focuses on him<<

Andrew Thorn “Each and every day, the boys and girls like to say; ‘Andrew come outside and play’ so I run them over. [Thorn laughs and the crowd boo] On Xpress Wrestling Hunter said he’d like to play, so we played … BUT HE DIDN’T PLAY FAIR! HE CHEATED SO I KILLED HIM! I CHOKED HIM WITH HIS LITTLE TOE NAIL AND HE’S DEAD!!! HUNTER J IS DEAD!!! [Thorn begins crying uncontrollably and the crowd seem confused. He drops to the mat and starts punching it hard] WHY HUNTER!?! WHY!?!? [The crowd are even more confused. Suddenly Thorn sits up and the look in his eyes is psychotic. He begins laughing] GOTCHA! [The fans boo wildly before starting a ‘Hunter J! Hunter J!’ chant] I didn’t kill Hunter, I just … I just … I just hurt him, a l-l-l-little. ONLY A little! [Thorn’s left eye begins twitching] Hunter, me and you at Xpress Wrestling 1; Harry Jones versus Ricky Lackett, I get to f-f-f-f-face you in an EXTREME RULES RASSLIN MATCH! No rules, just me, you, chair, ladder, trash can, stick, broom, toilet and your HIV! [‘Hunter’s Gonna Kill You’ chants break out] Hunter, you-you-you YOU ARE A HUNTER. You like to hunt people, and you like to bash and kill and eat them … we-we-we-well, well, well Mr. J at Xpress Wrestling 1, you’re gonna be Hunted J! ‘Cause I’m gonna break your neck and drink your veins! HAHAHAHAHA! YOU AND ALL YOUR OTHER PRECIOUS LETTERS! Z, F, Q, L, M, they’re all gonna die with you! You and your family will die … except A, I like A, I am A! [‘WHAT!?!’] WHAT! [‘WHAT!?!’] WHO! [‘WHAT!?!’] SHE FUCKING TEMPTED ME! [Thorn begins eating his fringe] Hunter, at Xpress Wrestling 1, I’m, I’m going to cut you open and chew your he art! I’ll eat your HE ART!”

>>Having had enough Hunter J’s music booms and out he comes<<

[Let it roll booms out the speakers the whole crowd roars as Hunter J comes onto the stage he looks straight at Thorn before charging right down the ramp and slides into the ring and stares right at Torn and a mike is thrown to him and he catches him]

"I am going to kill you. You are in my play ground now Thorn. I am on the hunt and you are my prey! You will not escape my clutches when we get into the ring. You have done things I never thought I would see. You attacked a ref for fuck sake Thorn. Now you attacked me in the parking lot! You busted me open. YOU BUSTED ME OPEN! You really dug your grave when you did that. You think busting me open will stop me? NO! You made me even more pissed off. In the extreme rules match I get to use any weapon I want and you can't stop me! I will tear you apart I will leave you a blooded mess! At Xpress Wrestling 1, THORN MUST DIE! To be honest you are one sick little fuck. You want to drink my blood? Really? You say I hunt and kill people? REALLY? Sure i hunt people but I don't kill people but YOU ARE DIFFERENT! I will kill you! [Hunter gets in the face of Thorn] I will not hold back like I always do. I will let everything go to get rid of the cancer called Andrew Thorn!"

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 28 Location : Australia

18/10/2011 Xpress Wrestling Live! Match Card

>>On this weeks edition of Xpress Wrestling Live! we have a string of debuts with Adam Cahill and Faymen Fortune going one on one along with Kevin Evans taking on Omega! Alex Nova looks to strengthen his case for a shot at the International Championship when he faces Striker! Our main-event is a six man tag team action that is sure to be heated. We will also hear from Jake Lyndon on Xpress Wrestling 1; Harry Jones vs. Ricky Lackett and so much more!<<

Singles Debut Match
Adam Cahill vs. Faymen Fortune

Singles Match
Alex Nova vs. Striker

Tag Team Match
Criss Menace & Cyanide vs. Obsidian & Michael DeJesus

Singles Debut Match
Kevin Evans vs. Omega

6 Man Tag Team Match
Andrew Thorn, Dan Williams & Harry Jones vs. Hunter J, Jacob Adams & Ricky Lackett

>>Do not miss this weeks Xpress Wrestling Live! with all this action and so much more<<

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 29 Location : Emerald

Typos Jake..

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 29 Location : Emerald

[Kevin Evans is in gym training for his match with Omega.]

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 28 Location : Australia

John TPA wrote:: Typos Jake..

I see one ... but let's talk about your promo reply Wink

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 29 Location : Emerald

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:

John TPA wrote:: Typos Jake..

I see one ... but let's talk about your promo reply Wink

Two.

Oh let's talk about YOUR reply, which you still have not DONE Wink

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 28 Location : Australia

John TPA wrote:

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:

John TPA wrote:: Typos Jake..

I see one ... but let's talk about your promo reply Wink

Two.

Oh let's talk about YOUR reply, which you still have not DONE Wink

Working on the show love.

Point out the two, so I know and can bring myself to your grammatical excellence Wink

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 29 Location : Emerald

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:

John TPA wrote:

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:

John TPA wrote:: Typos Jake..

I see one ... but let's talk about your promo reply Wink

Two.

Oh let's talk about YOUR reply, which you still have not DONE Wink

Working on the show love.

Point out the two, so I know and can bring myself to your grammatical excellence Wink

Ok love.

Well,

Nova V Striker

Evans V Omega

I do not see them. Wink

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 28 Location : Australia

lol, dunno what I was doing there haha
When you getting on chat Razz

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 29 Location : Emerald

Silly tassie.

At 5 pm so hold your fucking horses.

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 29 Location : Emerald

[Jacob Adams is busy training]

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 28 Location : Australia

5:16 pm atm ...

K, no more OT

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