Extreme Created Warfare Wrestling

the following video was uploaded to YouTube to Oblivions account 'byob6x'

Oblivion and Malcolm Hocking are sat at an outdoor bar on the Californian beach front. Oblivion and Hocking are clearly intoxicated and are sat around with 5 women who are offering them a lot of attention. Hocking is kitted out in a smart designer suit in sliver. Oblivion is in a another designer suite that is clearly costly. It's white with a black shirt and white tie to match. He lowers his shades and looks over to the person recording the video and hoists up a glass of bourbon with the biggest grin he's ever produced

"To Me!"

The women all cheer and raise their glasses too as Oblivion slides his shades back on and pats Malcolm Hocking on the shoulder with his free hand as his preferred left throws back the bourbon. Hocking has one of the women trying to talk in his ear but he continues to look at the camera, holding up a hand indicating for her to stop

"I'm sorry. But did all of you fans want to see Oblivion come to ECWW? Further more, did you want him to ride in on his white horse and be the hero? Be that guy who fights for the fans and kisses ass? I don't even need to say it. Times change. This is reality. There is only so much bullshit one guy can take. The man is a Wrestling God. Look at his face? I mean come on! The guy even looks like Jesus for Christ sake! Oh wait, I can't only pander to the bible.. Science boys, he even looks like a monkey. He's the missing link. But whatever spin you put on it. This man is Professional Wrestling. He embodies it and he makes that ring his playground when he is on top which for the record, is always!"

Hocking picks up his drink and takes a decent swig. He looks at the glass and closes his eyes smiling

"The gentleman to my left is my best friend. Oblivion and have worked together inside and outside of this wrestling business. We have an unspoken bond. A lot of people think they know Oblivion. Neville Ryan, Devin Smith and Tim Tapout to name a few and I don't doubt that they do. But they don't know Ben Lee. They do not know the real persons behind the wrestling god. I do on the other hand. I know and I have always known what my best friend is capable of. He is essentially wine. The older this man gets, the better he gets"

Malcolm takes a breath and laughs looking away. He nudges Oblivion in the ribs as he has been chatting away to one of he women with them in. The bar. He faces Hocking

"You got anything you wanna say to your fans?"

He one again removes the shades and folds them over his shirt looking up in to the camera. He grabs the bottle of liquor and pours another bourbon. He picks up his glass and takes a sip before springing his eyes back up to the camera to engage

"1 word. 'No' 2 words. 'don't care' 3 words. Really don't care. 4 words. 'Be Your Own Bitch'. Cold reality is, I've outgrown you all. Not just my fans, every fucking fan. You are all so fucking smart with your twitter accounts, YouTube accounts, Facebook pages, chat groups, forums, websites, you name it. You bombard it with a useless opinion that don't mean shit to me and I'm sick of feigning interest. I'm tired of smiling at airports and holding my fist up for pictures with greasy 22 year olds that smell like dog, hand lotion and cheesy fucking feet. How does a person even smell you feet you disgusting, repulsive people. Bottom line is I am a real asshole and after a good long think this summer I've realised it's time to stop kissing metaphorical ass and switch it up to breaking literal necks. I'm done playing. Hey, you want something from Mr. IWA? Here you go, thanks for a tonne of money. Thanks for 2 World Championships in 2009, now go fuck yourselves. It's done, get over it low lives!"

He throws back the rest of the bourbon again and wipes his lips with the back of his hand and points with the hand hat holds he empty glass at the camera

"You people wanna know why I flipped the bird to ECWW. I'm going to come right out with it. It is the same old losers I've gone company to company with for the last 4 years. I've beaten them, they've beaten me. I made another shit tonne of money doing it and I invested. I was in a film! You remember that? I didn't spend that money. I saved it. I out it into a business venture with Malcolm and over the summer, we made a killing. We are up in the market and I'm living for a change in my life. But it's not the money or he greed that's gone to my head. I've had the money for 3 years now and I've always been this fucking awesome. So I'm finally choosing to be myself and enjoy life. But I do want to keep wrestling. And I won't lie, there isn't a hell of a lot out there at the moment, but I will come to ECWW, if someone can give me a reason. I want a reason to go make more money and have the pleasure of kicking the teeth in of somebody who thinks he's better than me. Call me out and if I think you are worthy of my time. I'll put pen to paper and kick your ass! Cut the fucking camera!"

Oblivion and Hocking immediately laugh and the women all begin pouring more drinks as the camera man spins the phone away and the video ends

Devin Smith

(The new theme 'Wake Up' by Rage Against The Machine begins blasting throughout the arena speakers as fans in attendance don't react to the new theme but as the tempo picks up, Devin Smith steps out onto the stage and doesn't get a reaction from the fans because of his newly shaved head but once they recognize who he is they immediately give him the usual negative reaction. Devin Smith doesn't stop to savor the moment like he used to do but instead walks straight to the ring while wearing a denim vest and his wrestling gear. Devin rolls under the bottom rope and walks around the ring for a little bit before seizing a microphone from the ring announcer. Devin Smith stands in the middle of the ring with the mic in between his two hands as he looks to the audience before speaking.)

"The Devin Smith that you've known for the past 6 years is dead..."

(The crowd pops at that statement.)

"In his place is a new Devin Smith... a better Devin Smith... a Devin Smith that doesn't care about the publicity, the money or the countless women that throw themselves his way."

(Millions of women's hearts can be heard breaking throughout the world.)

"I'm not here to entertain you anymore and I'm not here to play backstage politics. I'm here to do one thing and one thing only and that's win and I did just that when I was the sole survivor of my team on this past Thursday Night Insanity and when I went to congratulate my opponent, Neville Ryan, on a great match I was chased out of the ring by Omega. Now, ECWW management decided that was good enough reason to toss me into a match against that animal."

(The crowd begins chanting 'O-MEG-AH! O-MEG-AH! O-MEG-AH!')

"Not just any old match though, they're pitting us against each other for the first time in a Last Man Standing Match. A match where you must beat your opponent down so bad that they won't be able to stand up by the count of ten. I know what you're all thinking, you think that Omega will use his obvious strength and size advantages to beat me but that's where you're wrong. I'm faster, I'm smarter and I'm less likely to eat the weapons."

(The crowd boos at the lame joke about Omega eating weapons.)

"This Thursday, I will do everything it takes to prove that I am the best wrestler in not only ECWW but in the entire world so Omega... prepare to meet The Alpha Male of ECWW."

(Devin Smith drops the mic dramatically and begins to exit the ring as he has one foot out of the ring when __________'s music hits.)

The crowd pops at the somewhat familiar gunshots preceding Will's theme. As he steps out, the pop from before grows slightly louder. Will soaks in the cheers before walking towards the ring, refusing to high five anyone in the audience. His relationship with the fans is reminiscent of an abusive relationship. He walks up to Devin and wipes some nonexistent dust off his "King of the Ring Will Williams" shirt before starting to speak.

"Hold on, I have to clean up this shirt that's available on www.willwilliamsfuckedyourmum.com for only $9.97. That's right folks, $9.97!"

The crowd doesn't react because they don't know what the fuck Will's talking about. Footnote: The WWE doesn't exist here.

"So you're Devin Smith. I'll be honest, I may have name dropped you not too long ago without doing any research on who you were. Sorry, mate. But listen, I heard you talking shit about Omega. I've fought Omega before. He's a tough bloke, like so tough that that I popped a boner once while getting suplexed by him. I've been seeing a psychologist about it since. Turns out I'm suppressing some shit BUT! That's beside the point."

Will stands next to Devin and wraps his arm around him.

"Omega's the type of guy who takes a Last Man Standing match as a challenge. You being put in this with him means one thing and one thing only...you're going to get destroyed. He's not going to be gentle either. He'll make you look like one of the white people from the ending of Cannibal Holocaust. He'll turn you into mashed potatoes, and won't even pour you in gravy to make you taste good. He'll make you worse than Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones."

"What I'm saying is you're fucked. But I have a way that you can avoid that...for a price."

SOME PEOPLE DON'T KNOW
DON'T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG

The crowd erupt as 'Knee Deep' begins to play over the arena. The cameras pan around to the main stage, where Harry Jones is nonchalantly making his way down the isle. Jones enters the ring and quizzically raises an eye-brow at the positive reception from the ECWW fans. He licks his lips and begins to speak.

Harry Jones: “The internet wrestling community: a heinous, deplorable cesspool. It’s prerequisites state you must be overweight, neckbearded, jobless and possess the ability to complain about everything.”



Jones glares at the crowd with utter disdain. His fans are not sure how to react.

Harry Jones: “Over the past few days, you people have flooded my twitter, all asking the same questions. Why ECWW, Harry? Will you follow me back, Harry? Can you help me hold this extra chromosome, Harry?”

Naturally, the crowd responds to this remark with a chorus of boos.

Harry Jones: “Look. I don’t care about this interchangeable promotion. Nobody does. I’m here to win my matches and collect my paycheques. Don’t expect me to sign you an autograph, or wave to you on the street, or visit your terminally ill child. That’s what those scrubs Casey Anomaly and Tim Taylor are here for. I'm here to succeed, and I will succeed. Because I’m the best. And it’s about DAMNED time you all started acting like it.”


At this point, Jones is receiving nuclear levels of heat.

Harry Jones: "... and I'm NOT sorry if I've pissed you off by coming out here and speaking my mind, Trenton York. I hope you can use my words as fuel while you self-harm and post the photos to tumblr later on tonight, you twisted gothic fuck. Anyway, I got sidetracked. I'm out here tonight to send a message to the rest of the locker room. I'm issuing an open challenge for the next edition of Thursday Night Insanity. If you're interested in making a name for yourself, or having your life shortened significantly, come meet me in the ring. Good lu - "

_____ cuts Jones off mid-sentence! To be continued by anybody.

OT: Gotta shake off that rust.

[Niggas in Paris plays over the loud speakers of the arena as LeBron Carter comes out onto the stage followed by the rest of NIgga Nation. The loud crowd greets him with a chorus of boos as he holds his arms out and laughs, seemingly soaking it all in. The 3 superstars and 1 diva all make their way down to the ring. Reggie Lloyd and DeSean Irving help LeBron Carter surround Harry as Latash Irving stays outside the ring. She hands LeBron a mic]

LeBron Carter
"Well, well, well. If it isn't Mr. Harry Jones. I don't believe we've met. I'm LeBron Carter. AKA the BEST in all of black entertainment. Quite possibly the best in sports entertainment. I know who you are. I know you're track record. It don't scare me. I ain't afraid of nothing. I don't care about all the wars you've been in. I don't care about all the great rivalries you've had. That's all in the past. The past is over and done with. I'm living for the now. I'm living for the future. As far as I'm concerned, you're washed up. You're done. I don't know why people like you are still around. You, Oblivion, Will Williams...all y'all niggas should have retired years ago. But you know what, you're here and you're looking for a fight. Fortunately for you, I have a match on Thursday. I'll be pretty busy doing my own thing. However my boys here aren't wrestling. They're hungry for blood just like you. The only difference is that they're better than you. Black prevails and black will always prevail as long as they have a great leader like myself. So let's put that to the test. Pick your poison, Jones. Either way, you're going down, bitch."

[Reggie Lloyd and DeSean Irving step between Jones and Carter and get up in Harry's face. They continue to taunt him before he says anything else.]

Harry Jones: "I didn't know Helen Keller had a crackbaby with WorldStar HipHop."

Jones pauses to collect his thoughts.

Harry Jones: "Listen, Daquan... it doesn't matter who my match is against. I could take on all three of you in a rap battle and I'd still come out victorious. The point being, we're in a different league. While you've spent most of your life wrestling for food stamps, I've been winning the most prestigious championships in the world. So if you're still this confident come Thursday, I'll see your boys in the ring for my open challenge. This won't be a walk in the cotton farm, I'll promise you that."

Harry exits the ring as the ECWW fans passionately jeer at him.