Xpress Wrestling

#1 Contender Posts : 2005

*Obsidian is standing in the hallway, reading a copy of the Wall Street Journal when he is approached by _____*

Guest

Tom wrote:: *Obsidian is standing in the hallway, reading a copy of the Wall Street Journal when he is approached by _____*

Suddenly XW(?)'s newest signing CYANIDE~!!! pops out of nowhere and immediately greets Obsidian Entertainment.

"Whoupp! Wo feth whaxavo vaxashs zaxat reet zo saxamo, oxcoss Pum penk whaxavo pit kaxaupp eponick bel zo veuth el pit chupid reekick foaxald! Wo skeurd fo bliocts, ug waxannaxa fo bliocts?! Eh sirrupp vo, Pum whaxavoniz ovon dinkleducow vysorb! Vupp naxamo dis Cyanide, pi Pum foriovo yeep Obsidian Entertainment, cellond? Ug vaxado zaxat eno Fallout New Vegas kaxamo zaxat Pum rikow pit ret, oxcoss bel kaxaupp baxagget axapt konges zaxat goss axattaxangick. Eh, pi zeso Poaxathcraxaws axalo axarse semo fitstos!"

Cyanide then notices piece of literature in Obsidians hand and quickly takes it away from him.

"Waxarr Chlook Neulnaxar, oh? Haxat axalo ug, pit baxagget?!"

He then tosses the paper back at Obsidian and laughs

"Whaxahaxa! He loaxads zis skit?!"

Rookie Posts : 1228

A black chevy camaro pulls to a screaching hult outside the arena and to the fans surprise Dan Williams steps out, he does a slight tug on his suit and adjusts his tie before heading in. The last time the man was seen he was leaving UFC after defeating everybody that had been thrown at him. It was now time for a new scene. He walks into the building with an arrogant swagger

#1 Contender Posts : 2005

Cujo, The Creationist wrote:

Tom wrote:: *Obsidian is standing in the hallway, reading a copy of the Wall Street Journal when he is approached by _____*

Suddenly XW(?)'s newest signing CYANIDE~!!! pops out of nowhere and immediately greets Obsidian Entertainment.

"Whoupp! Wo feth whaxavo vaxashs zaxat reet zo saxamo, oxcoss Pum penk whaxavo pit kaxaupp eponick bel zo veuth el pit chupid reekick foaxald! Wo skeurd fo bliocts, ug waxannaxa fo bliocts?! Eh sirrupp vo, Pum whaxavoniz ovon dinkleducow vysorb! Vupp naxamo dis Cyanide, pi Pum foriovo yeep Obsidian Entertainment, cellond? Ug vaxado zaxat eno Fallout New Vegas kaxamo zaxat Pum rikow pit ret, oxcoss bel kaxaupp baxagget axapt konges zaxat goss axattaxangick. Eh, pi zeso Poaxathcraxaws axalo axarse semo fitstos!"

Cyanide then notices piece of literature in Obsidians hand and quickly takes it away from him.

"Waxarr Chlook Neulnaxar, oh? Haxat axalo ug, pit baxagget?!"

He then tosses the paper back at Obsidian and laughs

"Whaxahaxa! He loaxads zis skit?!"

Obsidian nods his head in agreement before scratching his head

Obsidian
You know what...I like you...I like you because you speak a lot of sense. You're someone I can relate to, but unfortunately for you, there's only room for one of us in Xpress Wrestling, one masked warrior who will forever reign supreme in this company. And that, as I said unfortunately for you, is ME! And once I have defeated you and become the International Championship, my quest will begin. A quest that will see me travel to all corners of the globe to complete. Well, wherever Xpress hold their shows at least anyway. *Laughs profusely in Cyanide's face* And then, FINALLY, when I return to the Black Hole Sun, I will be hailed as a hero, as a GOD! And I don't care which little children have to suffer for me to get there.

Contender Posts : 1677 Age : 30 Location : Whitby, England

The scene opens at a soccer training session where men are taking shots at their goalie. Suddenly, the coaches voice is heard booming from the sidelines.

'What are you? Defenders!'

The men panic and suddenly their shots seem to all glide into the net, evading the keeper's despairing dives. The camera cuts to the coach, who has a scowl on his face while staring at his team, the coach turning away from the pitch and staring into another camera.

'As you can probably tell from the accent, I'm English and I excel at not only professional wrestling, but also the art of football. But not your stupid American version, which is basically rugby in pads because none of you pathetic Yanks can take a hit. I excel at the sport that you foolishly call soccer. It's because of people like me, talented players who come over and teach you Yanks how to play, that you even have any talent in the game at all. And it's people like me who will make Express Wrestling the best promotion in world wrestling. Footy and wrestling are quite similar in some ways. Both need speed, agility, strength, determination and toughness and I possess all of those qualities. I'm coming to Express Wrestling and I will become the champion. As for my name, I'm the soccer-mad superstar, I'm Striker.'

Striker stares into the camera and the screen changes to a background of a footy pitch and a golden ball in the centre of the picture, with the words, 'Striker, coming soon', written underneath as the scene ends.

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 29 Location : Australia

[Thorn is seen bursting through the entrance doors into the arena. He charges down the halls and slams into ______]

Andrew Thorn WHAT!?!?!

Hall of Famer Posts : 3955 Age : 28

An instrumental for Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" blares out of the speakers as Harry Jones emerges out onto the entrance ramp wearing a blonde wig and his signature KOK shirt ~ !!!

"It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'Cause you were born this way, baby"

Harry begins to make his way down to the ring, watching thousands of teenage girls get the tingles ~ !!!

"My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir
"There's nothin wrong with lovin who you are"
She said, "'cause he made you perfect, babe"
So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"
I'm the best in my way
'Cause you imbreds have no say
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way
Don't live with regret
Just Harry Jones and you're set
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way"

Harry Jones slides into the ring and begins to do some stupid hipster shuffle. He looks at a girl in the front row and he heart literally jumps up into her throat when he winks at her. Harry continues with his parody...

"Ooo there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way
Ooo there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Right track baby
I was born this way"

He takes a few breaths, before continuing...

"We all know Surge is a dick
Who needs to choke on a brick
Him being the Extreme Heavyweight Champion is a fluke
I must be myself, don't give a fuck about the youth
Being the best is not a sin
Baby, I'm here to win
All the haters can suck on my pin!"

The song is now approaching a climax and the fans are expecting a good finish

"You know this song gives you bones
Because you all know
THAT THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER HARRY JONES ~ !!!"

The screen turns into static as Harry listens to the billions and trillions and gazillions of fans chanting his name, coz' Striker is silly.

OT: Yeah, got bored so I wrote this piece of poop.

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 29 Location : Australia

This just in, Harry Jones signs an Xpress Wrestling jobber contract by singing Lady Gaga lol

#1 Contender Posts : 2191 Age : 31 Location : The Bungalow

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:: [Thorn is seen bursting through the entrance doors into the arena. He charges down the halls and slams into Ricky Lackett]

Andrew Thorn WHAT!?!?!

{Ricky tries to calm down the situation by gesturing for Thorn to chill out before dusting himself off with an uneasy looking expression on his face}

Look Andrew, it was an accident because I wouldn't purposely collide into you unless I wanted to start some trouble or maybe I'm just lying and needed some pre-match action with you before the debuting Xpress wrestling show commences and we face off in the tournament for this Companies World Championship... I am just messing around pal, but I'll tell you right now, I plan on coming out as the victor in our match, so don't get this angry if you lose or else the tumor in your brain will erupt

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 29 Location : Australia

Sam And The Dirt Is Gone wrote:

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:: [Thorn is seen bursting through the entrance doors into the arena. He charges down the halls and slams into Ricky Lackett]

Andrew Thorn WHAT!?!?!

{Ricky tries to calm down the situation by gesturing for Thorn to chill out before dusting himself off with an uneasy looking expression on his face}

Look Andrew, it was an accident because I wouldn't purposely collide into you unless I wanted to start some trouble or maybe I'm just lying and needed some pre-match action with you before the debuting Xpress wrestling show commences and we face off in the tournament for this Companies World Championship... I am just messing around pal, but I'll tell you right now, I plan on coming out as the victor in our match, so don't get this angry if you lose or else the tumor in your brain will erupt

Andrew Thorn DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKING CAT!! If I see you playing with my cat again ... I-I-I-I-I-I-I'll kick your face through arse in that ring! DO you UNDERstand me ... Mr. Ricky?

#1 Contender Posts : 2191 Age : 31 Location : The Bungalow

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:

Sam And The Dirt Is Gone wrote:

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:: [Thorn is seen bursting through the entrance doors into the arena. He charges down the halls and slams into Ricky Lackett]

Andrew Thorn WHAT!?!?!

{Ricky tries to calm down the situation by gesturing for Thorn to chill out before dusting himself off with an uneasy looking expression on his face}

Look Andrew, it was an accident because I wouldn't purposely collide into you unless I wanted to start some trouble or maybe I'm just lying and needed some pre-match action with you before the debuting Xpress wrestling show commences and we face off in the tournament for this Companies World Championship... I am just messing around pal, but I'll tell you right now, I plan on coming out as the victor in our match, so don't get this angry if you lose or else the tumor in your brain will erupt

Andrew Thorn DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKING CAT!! If I see you playing with my cat again ... I-I-I-I-I-I-I'll kick your face through arse in that ring! DO you UNDERstand me ... Mr. Ricky?

{Lackett runs his fingers through his hair and gets to the back of his head before squeezing the hairs that are there followed by letting go and staring at Thorn with a serious look in his eye}

Ricky Lackett

If you think for one second that I'm going back down from a delusional and crazy guy like you then you're sadly mistaken because I've already been through enough in my life like being a rich man one day then becoming a poor person the next day to know that I could easily take you down without even having a second thought about it, so try me Andrew, I dare ya and by the way, I haven't seen a cat anywhere around here, so obviously you're just making shit up to accuse me of for the hell of it, which I know you'll then use against me for an excuse to beat me up, but just watch what happens when you touch me and I double dare you now... Hit me with your best shot, punk!

Guest

Tom wrote:

Cujo, The Creationist wrote:

Tom wrote:: *Obsidian is standing in the hallway, reading a copy of the Wall Street Journal when he is approached by _____*

Suddenly XW(?)'s newest signing CYANIDE~!!! pops out of nowhere and immediately greets Obsidian Entertainment.

"Whoupp! Wo feth whaxavo vaxashs zaxat reet zo saxamo, oxcoss Pum penk whaxavo pit kaxaupp eponick bel zo veuth el pit chupid reekick foaxald! Wo skeurd fo bliocts, ug waxannaxa fo bliocts?! Eh sirrupp vo, Pum whaxavoniz ovon dinkleducow vysorb! Vupp naxamo dis Cyanide, pi Pum foriovo yeep Obsidian Entertainment, cellond? Ug vaxado zaxat eno Fallout New Vegas kaxamo zaxat Pum rikow pit ret, oxcoss bel kaxaupp baxagget axapt konges zaxat goss axattaxangick. Eh, pi zeso Poaxathcraxaws axalo axarse semo fitstos!"

Cyanide then notices piece of literature in Obsidians hand and quickly takes it away from him.

"Waxarr Chlook Neulnaxar, oh? Haxat axalo ug, pit baxagget?!"

He then tosses the paper back at Obsidian and laughs

"Whaxahaxa! He loaxads zis skit?!"

Obsidian nods his head in agreement before scratching his head

Obsidian
You know what...I like you...I like you because you speak a lot of sense. You're someone I can relate to, but unfortunately for you, there's only room for one of us in Xpress Wrestling, one masked warrior who will forever reign supreme in this company. And that, as I said unfortunately for you, is ME! And once I have defeated you and become the International Championship, my quest will begin. A quest that will see me travel to all corners of the globe to complete. Well, wherever Xpress hold their shows at least anyway. *Laughs profusely in Cyanide's face* And then, FINALLY, when I return to the Black Hole Sun, I will be hailed as a hero, as a GOD! And I don't care which little children have to suffer for me to get there.

".... Zo foaxald!"

A bunch of staff members that were just walking around then raise their arms in the air and yell in unison "ZO FOAXALD!" Cyanide then grabs Obsidian's beard and strokes it while chuckling to himself.

"Zis vaxan wherds zo foaxald eb pochinupp din whis whaxacts pi peosniz ovon gned dit! Dinchoaxad who taxarks axafuk semo Seuct Kaxaldon seck, Pum ceurd oaxasirupp uso vupp supoliel dinkorrond din eldol te vaxanipuraxato zis simpro victow cloaxatulo pi taxako zo foaxald bel vysorb... Fut zon The Grand Wizard weurd bigulo dit uk pi taxako dit blem vo! Whmmm... Pum kuopt roaxavick zis untnewick vaxan um zo foaxald wirr pe je whaxalm. Ah worr, cemmonco zo cenvolsaxatien enco axagaxain Obsidian Entertainment pi dignelo ovolythick Pum quich saxaid oaxalriol!"

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 29 Location : Australia

Sam And The Dirt Is Gone wrote:

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:

Sam And The Dirt Is Gone wrote:

God? Nah, CIMA wrote:: [Thorn is seen bursting through the entrance doors into the arena. He charges down the halls and slams into Ricky Lackett]

Andrew Thorn WHAT!?!?!

{Ricky tries to calm down the situation by gesturing for Thorn to chill out before dusting himself off with an uneasy looking expression on his face}

Look Andrew, it was an accident because I wouldn't purposely collide into you unless I wanted to start some trouble or maybe I'm just lying and needed some pre-match action with you before the debuting Xpress wrestling show commences and we face off in the tournament for this Companies World Championship... I am just messing around pal, but I'll tell you right now, I plan on coming out as the victor in our match, so don't get this angry if you lose or else the tumor in your brain will erupt

Andrew Thorn DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKING CAT!! If I see you playing with my cat again ... I-I-I-I-I-I-I'll kick your face through arse in that ring! DO you UNDERstand me ... Mr. Ricky?

{Lackett runs his fingers through his hair and gets to the back of his head before squeezing the hairs that are there followed by letting go and staring at Thorn with a serious look in his eye}

Ricky Lackett

If you think for one second that I'm going back down from a delusional and crazy guy like you then you're sadly mistaken because I've already been through enough in my life like being a rich man one day then becoming a poor person the next day to know that I could easily take you down without even having a second thought about it, so try me Andrew, I dare ya and by the way, I haven't seen a cat anywhere around here, so obviously you're just making shit up to accuse me of for the hell of it, which I know you'll then use against me for an excuse to beat me up, but just watch what happens when you touch me and I double dare you now... Hit me with your best shot, punk!

[Thorn starts chewing at the bicep of his right arm, muttering out a few words as he chews]

Andrew Thorn I-I didn't do it! It it was was was wasn't me! STAY AWAY FROM MY CAT!

[Thorn storms off down the hall punching himself in the left leg with each step]

Veteran Posts : 3039 Age : 27 Location : Hogwarts

Omega arrives to the arena for the first time, knowing he'll fuck some shit up.

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 29 Location : Australia

I shall be gone the next 3 or so days. Until I get back Tom is going to be in charge. If need be he'll be RPing as Jake Lyndon and addressing any issues you may have.

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 30 Location : Emerald

What about the show

#1 Contender Posts : 2191 Age : 31 Location : The Bungalow

John TPA wrote:: What about the show

Portal?

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 29 Location : Australia

John TPA wrote:: What about the show

The show is on Tuesdays, I'll be back by then

Veteran Posts : 3005 Age : 28 Location : Canada

*Alex Nova arrives pumped to show the XW fans what he's got up his sleeve on tuesday he heads into the gym to train*

Legend Posts : 3365 Age : 29 Location : Australia

Contender Posts : 1677 Age : 30 Location : Whitby, England

Striker is in the gym, preparing for his match with Harry Jones.

Hall of Famer Posts : 4741 Age : 30 Location : Emerald

Jacob 'Beast' Adams will cut a promo soon.

#1 Contender Posts : 2191 Age : 31 Location : The Bungalow

{Ricky Lackett is in his locker room, preparing for his match with Andrew Thorn tomorrow night by going through a few strategies that he can implement during the course of it}

Hall of Famer Posts : 3955 Age : 28

The Truth Has Set Me Free wrote:: Striker is in the gym, preparing for his match with Harry Jones.

Harry Jones is doing some squat-thrusts ~!!!

Contender Posts : 1677 Age : 30 Location : Whitby, England

Hazza wrote:

The Truth Has Set Me Free wrote:: Striker is in the gym, preparing for his match with Harry Jones.

Harry Jones is doing some squat-thrusts ~!!!

Striker picks up his football and walks over to Harry Jones, who finishes his squats and stares up at Striker, both men getting into each other's face.

Striker: So, you're the man I'm going to wipe the floor with on my debut, huh? You don't look very impressive.

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