EFNW Wrestling >> "A New Chapter"

~As The Greatest Man that ever liver by Weezer plays over the titantron the boos from the crowd are deafening when a strange logo appears on the titantron~



~ As the crowd read the logo and then understand it there are more boos from the women who are usually uninterested in Wrestling and only come because their partner, Friend or Child had a spare ticket, just then EFNW's Heretic Dan Maskell walks onto the stage wearing Black Jeans, Black and white Trainers and a T-shirt what asks 'Haven't I cum across your face before?', Dan then slowly walks down to the ring taking in the boos before stopping next to a random fan and promptly stealing the dudes Beer, Dan then gets into the ring taking a sip from the beer glass before ordering someone to get him a microphone to which they comply, and Dan then holds the microphone in one hand and the beer in the other and keeps drinking.~

'Yeah you thought you got rid of me, you thought I was gone but here I am back and better then ever, By the way I right now sincerely state that I do support single mums by leaving them a small tip after each lap dance.'

~ Once again there is that mixed reaction from the crowd as some of the men cheer while others boo just because their lady friends tell them too.~

'In all seriousness now I have an upcoming match at this Pay Per View against Phil Brilliance and Michael Dejesus and despite there being a small bit of bad blood between me and Michael over his skin pigmentation, I truly respect both of them I mean they know that I am the greatest entity around yet they still took this match, so big ups to both men seriously.'

~ Dan actually gives them a bit of applause which seems sincere.~

'On the other hand just because I respect them two does not mean I respect the rest of the roster, I mean you ask anyone here they all got their little buddies they go out for drinks with or travel with and then there is me, I do my own thing and I do it when and where ever I want, I smoke, I drink, I gamble, I frequent strip clubs all because those are things I choose to do, I mean that is my free will where as you people don't have free will as most of you are super poor and have to work all day and night.'

~ It looked like there was going to be a few cheers for Dan until the last comment which cause some boos.~

'If I am honest right now a few people out there want to take credit for me but here are the facts, I showed potential from day one and people recognised it, Jake Lyndon was smart enough to notice it and he used his power of being world champion yo make sure he mentored me on this gay little talent show which I won, other then that everything I have done has been down to me, the list of people I truly like and get along with in this fraudulent business is surprisingly small.'

~ Dan then takes a few more gulps from the beer finishing the can before dropping it on the mat and stomping on it.~

'That beer can had as much fight there as most of my World title reigns.'

~ Now that comment got quite a few laughs and cheers from the crowd.~

'You see I have to say it makes me sick now when people talk about me like they know me just becuase of what they have seen from me in the past, where as what they should know is I am no open book, I constantly change and evolve like a Pokemon.'

~ Probably for the first time in EFNW a 'Pokemon' chant begins.~

'All the places I have been, all the people I have beaten XCW, CWW, ECCW, CWA, 3XW, EFNW even EOD none of them mean nothing to me for the minute the only thing what means something to me for the minute is getting the reputation I so rightly deserve as the baddest, most controversial mother fucker in the wrestling world today, I do not care what I have to do to get that name but I will and there is nothing anyone can do about it.'

~ Dan then drops the microphone in the ring before slwoly climbing through the ropes and standing on the apron, whilst there Dan gives a few middle fingers to people before jumping off the apron and then climbing the barricade, Dan then shockingly jacks this little boy's EFNW program and starts flicking through the pages.~

'How the fuck does some of these lower life forms get a fucking page dedicated to them and I only get half a page?'

~ Dan then tears the magazine up before walking up the stairs and dissapearing somewhere in the arena.~

OT: Got bored cut this, don't like it tough titty.

Dan Maskell is in the hallway sorta Planking yet he is laying back looking up at the lights wearing a t-shirt what says 'I did this alot'

>> Summary Results <<

‘Cult of Personality’ by Living Colour begins to play over the PA system as an explosion of pyrotechnics are triggered on the main stage. Suddenly, a body flies through the sparks and crashes down hard onto the steel entrance ramp. The music, pyrotechnics and lighting all come to a halt as we see Dr. Butcher standing at the scene of the crime, grasping onto a steel chain. Butcher wraps the chain around Psychopsilocin’s neck and begins to choke the life of out Psychopsilocin! Dr. Butcher leaves his Revolution opponent out of consciousness at the top of the entrance ramp as he sadistically laughs at the carnage he has stirred.

The team of Jaggered Payne; Pauly Payne and Hayden Jaggerz are seen standing outside the office of Travis Jones. They rudely kick the door open and demand to be given the defunct EFNW Tag Team Championship titles. Jones stands his ground and tells the men that they will need to earn the gold by defeating the team of Jayden Robertson and Shane Johnson; the Thunder Dragons! Hayden and Pauly turn around to leave the room with an incredibly livid facial expression.

Jarrett Calloway’s music hits and the audience instantly respond with an enormous chorus of boos. Calloway takes a seat at the commentator’s desk and tries his best to stay concentrated on the upcoming match, despite the ‘You suck dick’ chant that seems to have caught on from the previous episode of Crush. After getting aggravated at Sparks who innocently asked Jarrett if the allegations are true, Jarrett tells Consisto to hurry up and ring the bell.

Escape the Cage Match
Danny D vs. Angel Rodriguez vs. Kevin Evans vs. Omega

The match goes off from the very beginning when all four men engage in an all out brawl. Omega is overpowered by Danny D easily, as his injuries instantly become part of the equation. Meanwhile, Kevin Evans and Angel Rodriguez engage in their own private battle. The match eventually transitions from a fist fight to a game of survival. Kevin Evans has the match practically won at 7:34 when he stands on top of the cage, but he suddenly loses control of his body and begins to sadistically laugh. Kevin shockingly pulls a black mask out of his tights and puts it over his head, before leaping off of the cage and connecting with a 450 Splash onto Danny D! Less than a minute later, Angel Rodriguez drills Omega into the mat with a top rope El Nino Planter! Danny D busts Rodriguez wide open when he flapjacks Angel into the steel ring post, but before Danny has time to capitalize he is taken down by a spear from Omega. Omega sees the opportunity to escape and he cashes in on this great predicament by climbing the cage, with a title opportunity in sight! Instead of chasing after Omega, Evans decides to test his luck by climbing the opposite side of the cage. Angel Rodriguez has now recuperated and he joins in on the rat race! Three men are giving it their all, scaling the cage as fast as they can…whilst Danny D is sitting in the corner of the ring by himself. Danny crawls towards the cage and orders the referee to open the door. Danny begins to drag his body out of the cage, until…BAM! Angel Rodriguez connects with a leg drop onto the back of Danny’s head, jumping from ¾ of the cage! Rodriguez writhes in pain on the outside as the referees approach him to declare him the winner of the match. Angel slowly crawls up the entrance ramp as the other three men stand at ringside, looking incredibly disappointed. Jarrett Calloway looks somewhat confident as he looks intently at his Revolution opponent.

Winner: Angel Rodriguez

***

The camera follows Josh Polson who is walking down the hallways. Josh arrives at his private locker room area and he hurriedly opens the door. A vicious growl is heard from inside the locker room ~ ! The camera zooms in through the slight opening in the door to reveal the infamous Mr. Tiger sitting in the centre of the room. Josh furiously walks off in another direction as EFNW moves onto the next segment.

Kevin Evans cuts an intense promo on the other classic match winners, saying that he will redeem himself at the Revolution PPV. Then his eyes begin to twitch…His shoulders gingerly click in and out of place. Evans desperately pulls his hair looking for some sort of vindication, but he is all alone with nobody to help him. Kevin puts on the same black mask as earlier in the night and he tells the other wrestlers competing in the classic match that their blood will be on his hands…and their blood will taste good! Kevin Evans…Or DARTH Evans leaves the solemn room, leaving the audience incredibly uncomfortable.

Extreme Rules Match >> Crush World Championship
Harry Jones vs. Stigma

Both men had some very influential motives going into this match. Harry Jones was looking to gain even more momentum going into his match at ‘Revolution’ were he will defend the Crush World Championship against Venom, the current Terror World Champion. If Stigma could pull off the upset victory and become the Crush World Champion in his second match then the entire wrestling world would be turned upside down. The bell rings and this essential match is underway! Stigma gets off to a very impressive start by using his power advantage to ground the aerial assault fighting style of Harry Jones, but the tables drastically turn at the five minute mark when the Singapore Cane is introduced. Stigma manages to draw blood from Harry’s temple, which only motivates Jones to fight harder. Harry connects with a chain of top rope maneuvers, before crawling into the cover and getting the three count! Harry is handed his Crush World Championship (which is now completely covered in EFNW stickers). As Harry hoists his title above his head in the centre of the ring, the lights begin to flicker. ECCW’s Terror World Champion, Venom, emerges from behind the curtain with the Terror World Championship tightly strapped around his waist.

It is apparent that Jones is not the slightest bit intimidated because he stands his ground against the 7 foot monster. Both men continue to stare through each others souls as EFNW Wrestling takes a commercial break.

Winner: Harry Jones

***

Michael DeJesus makes his way down to the ring and is still fuming over the Dan Maskell predicament. DeJesus cuts a lengthy promo which is mainly directed at Maskell; the man who stole Michael’s EFNW International Championship. Michael calls Dan out to the ring so they can fight like men, but he gets more than he bargained for when ‘Cigaro’ by System of a Down begins to play. Phil Brilliance walks out and makes various bold statements, the most justified one being that he will not become an afterthought in the lead up to Revolution. The two men continue to bicker in the ring, until they are interrupted by Dan Maskell who appears on the titantron. Dan is in his house sitting on the coach and he basically makes fun of different ethnic races, whilst somehow making a point out of his blatant racism. Maskell tells both men that they are idiots because this tape was pre-recorded! Dan jumps the barricade and lays both men out with Michael’s championship, before retreating to the locker room area to prepare for his match against Casey Anomaly.

Psychopsilocin is being wheeled on a stretcher towards an ambulance, but in an Undertaker like fashion, he sits up on the stretcher and begins to breathe heavily. Psychopsilocin shrieks the name ‘DR. BUTCHER’, before slowly rolling back into a prone position.

Singles Match
Twista XL vs. Daniel Evans

A split second after the bell rings, Bob Sparks says that ‘this match will be an epic’. He had no idea how on the ball he would be. Twista and Danny both executed their finishing maneuvers in the earlier stages of the match, but neither man could get the job done. Ten minutes flies by like nothing and both men are incredibly fatigued by this point. Twista XL dropkicks Evans into the corner and without wasting any time he attempts a reverse handspring dropkick maneuver, but Evans runs forwards and catches XL on his right shoulder and then executes a ground shaking Tombstone Piledriver! Danny Evans crawls into the cover; One…Two…Thr – Somehow Twista finds enough strength to power out of the pinning predicament! ‘Rooftops’ by Lostphrophets begins to play and the fans burst into an uproar for the righter of wrongs, Josh Polson! Daniel Evans loses his concentration for a split second which gives Twista enough time to roll Daniel up and get the pinfall at 16:22 in what was a great match!

Winner: Twista XL

***

After coming off of a big victory against Daniel Evans, Twista XL walks out to the ring alone and cuts a lengthy promo about his future in EFNW; most of the message being positive, of course. Twista is interrupted when a strange message appears on the titantron. The message reads;

“It is time that I return to the ring,
One match will determine all,
See you at Revolution, Twista XL!”

Twista XL leaves the ring about as clueless as everybody else in the arena.

Following the very curious segment involving Twista XL, Faymen Fortune makes his entrance and begins to sing Bon Jovi’s legendary rock idol titled ‘Living On a Prayer’. Due to his heroin addiction, Faymen forgets the lyrics and begins slurring gibberish into the microphone, before taking out his pent up anger on the EFNW fans. Peter Linch’s theme music begins to play and BAM, this match is underway!

Singles Match
Peter Linch vs. Faymen Fortune

In an action packed match, Faymen Fortune had many opportunities to get the pinfall victory, but in a shocking turn of events, Faymen attempted a powerbomb which was countered by Linch who turned the move into a pinfall. Peter stole the victory from Fortune’s grasp and began to celebrate the upset victory which did not go down well with Fortune. Faymen beat Peter to a pulp with his microphone and then left ringside, in his mind serving justice for the people.

Winner: Peter Linch


***

El Amazo cuts a promo on the Exile Division, using his small Steven Hawking-like translator to insight the fans on what he is saying in Spanish. Amazo tells Psychopsilocin that after Revolution, he will become the new Exile Champion.

Harry Jones is seen leaving the arena with his Crush World Championship belt when he is suddenly approached by Jarrett Calloway. The two men fiercly stare into each others eyes, and Harry only increases the tension by saying; “No matter what happens at Revolution…I am coming for you! There will never be another - ” BAM! Venom lays Harry out with a steel chair, before leaving the arena with Calloway.


Singles Match
Dan Maskell vs. Casey Anomaly

Another great match! Dan Maskell gets an early advantage when he connects with the Tramp Stamp, but the resiliency of Casey Anomaly is incredible. ‘The Nightmare Among Men’ took an incredible beating from Dan Maskell which consisted an apron Mount Fuji Facial to the outside, but Anomaly would not call it quits no matter what was thrown at him. Eight minutes pass and Casey finally gets some sort of affective offense via an ‘Ascending into the Afterlife DDT’ followed by the Shattered Dreams! Casey begins to thrive in the spotlight and after a chain reaction of signature moves, Casey has Maskell set up for his finishing ‘Corrupted’ Vertebreaker, but Dan counters by falling backwards onto both feet and using all of his strength to force Casey to tumble over his shoulders into a Vertebreaker of his own! Maskell covers Casey; One…Two…Thr – Kick out! Another five minutes of great back and forth wrestling passes and the match is completely up for grabs. Maskell connects with a combination of punches but then cockily attempts a match-winning round house lariat. The sloppiness of the punch gives Casey enough time to counter by ducking under Dan’s forearm and he takes knocks Dan down onto both knees with a superkick. Anomaly connects with a second superkick, before quickly locking in the ‘Have A Nice Nightmare’ submission. Dan Maskell curiously taps out before Anomaly even locks in the submission completely – but his actions are explained when he picks up a microphone and tells Casey that instead of wasting his time wrestling against ‘Twilight fan boy fuckers’ like Anomaly, he needs to be one hundred percent at Revolution. Dan leaves ringside with Michael DeJesus’s International Championship, whilst Casey celebrates his victory inside the ring.

Winner: Casey Anomaly

***

Surge and Cyrus Black have an epic 25 minute open forum to express their opinions to end the show.

EFNW’s journey has been a long one. Not always the easiest or one without it’s share of bumps on the road, but a prosperous one, unquestionably. In a paralleled sense, a man within the EFNW roster has shared a similar journey. Which man? None other than Harry Jones. He’d be a liar to himself if he said that his time throughout EFNW had been one long walk in the park, at the same time though, anyone who tried to deny his right to claiming success would also be a liar. On the 10th September though, the journey for both EFNW and Jones becomes almost cyclical as the second ever ‘Revolution’ approaches – a Pay Per View that Harry Jones was around to witness the first time it occurred in EFNW. On that night he didn’t compete, but he still played his part. This time around though? A lot of things have changed. He’s a former seven time EFNW Champion/Extreme Heavyweight Champion and as well as a Hall of Famer and as well as a man who can claim prestigious victories over several other Hall of Famers. What he isn’t though, is a man without trouble. In recent weeks, that much has become clear as Jarrett Calloway has gone out of his way, three weeks on the run, to torment Jones physically and mentally. This campaign against his character has prompted Jones the chance to once again play his part in a Revolution Pay Per View, however, in a more prominent way this time as he steps up to take on Jarrett’s best friend named Venom in a Hardcore Rulez match, as dictated by Scott Gone.

Right now though? We don’t find ourselves in the Staples Center just yet. Nor are we set to take a trip into Harry’s Ozone. Rather we still find ourselves in the American Airlines Center of Dallas, Texas where the last episode of EFNW Wrestling took place. A fantastic evening for some which saw Angel Rodriguez become the new number one contender for the EFNW World Championship and a great match between Dan Maskell and Casey Anomaly. Only fantastic for some though. For example, there is one man right now sitting backstage in his locker room, who probably wouldn’t describe this evening in such a way. Who is this man? Of course, it’s none other than Harry Jones. Sitting on a bench within his locker room, which has a fairly beige and wooden décor, Harry has a towel wrapped around his neck. Apart from his wrestling tights, his body is bare – no t-shirt and surprisingly enough, no cross necklace. His shades are visible lying next to him on the bench, but he’s not wearing them at the moment. He seems…disappointed. Frustrated, even. He isn’t quite angered, but agitated all the same. It’s clear that his match with Stigma wasn’t over that long ago as the hair on his head and his face remains quite damp. With a rather exasperated motion, he sweeps one side of the towel across his face as he looks down for a moment. He then looks forward and begins to speak.
Harry Jones

“Hello there – I’m Harry Jones and I can speak over twenty different languages, including but not limited to, Spanish, Russian, Swahili and Shyriiwook, otherwise known as the language of the wookies. Hey…you get the occasional hot but not quite comfortable in her own skin girl at Comic con so believe me…it always comes in handy. Yes, Harry Jones is a man who can understand many different cultures and many different types of people. At the same time though, right now there’s one man who I’m struggling to understand. His name? Venom. I’m gonna take a wild shot in the dark and say you’ve all heard of him…or at least, he’d hope you have. Now the thing is I don’t quite see…He is the Terror World Champion and is going into a match against Casey Anomaly at whatever ECCW’s pay per view is named; so why does he want more. Venom, you are not good; the only reason you have made it this far is because of Jarrett Calloway. This guy is almost as pathetic as Venom; he is more of a self centered douche bag, but his wrestling ability isn’t as substandard. But just because Calloway has won a few major titles in ONE promotion, he is going out on a limb and calling himself the best in the world. You can’t help but admire the guy’s persistence, but damn, that just ain’t happening. And it’s kinda the same with Venom – he’s committed to the bit, I’ll give him that…what with the whole mask wearing and lipstick covering gimmick. I mean, to pull something like this off he must’ve taken an involuntary vow of celibacy because I can tell you from experience, the chicks don’t dig crazy. And Jarrett, sorry to sink your battleship but the chicks don’t dig corporate ass kissers either.”

Jones stops for a moment as he exhales and leans back slightly. He then grabs the towel again and proceeds to rub it across his hair to dry some of it. He then tosses the towel down onto the bench that he’s sitting on, before he begins to speak once more.

"Mistakes. Everyone makes them everyday. There is nobody who is exempt to that rule. Not even Harry Jones. You see, earlier this evening, I made a mistake. I did. I went into a match against a very talented opponent…and I did something that I would never normally do. I dropped my guard. It was only for a split second, but I will own up to my mistake. You got the better of me tonight, Venom, but I will have you know that I am bringing my A game to Revolution. Tomorrow night, you will realize why there will never be another Harry Jones!”

OT: I was so tired when I wrote this, so yeah, take me to court

[Peter Linch is sitting in the medics room, getting his wounds tended to.]