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 EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery

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fuck
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:16 pm

Who's ready for 2 rape-to-rape episodes of Extreme Fag Nation Wrestling? I may be.

We'll see how me distracting myself from my problems by watching cartoons to attempt to relive the better portions of my childhood works out.
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:37 pm

Twister Excel is walking around the arena sporting a black tee with the words "Show no FEAR" sprayed across it in white graffati-styled font.
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:46 pm

EFNW TV Champion Omega walks around because ue knows he's the best.

OFF: If I culd get on a laptop I'd do a promo, probs one for every fed, since I haven't done one in a whipe for any.
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The Truth Has Set Me Free
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sat Apr 28, 2012 5:49 am

Is the show going up at anytime or have I just missed it?

EDIT: Forget about that. Just read Surge's post.


Last edited by The Truth Has Set Me Free on Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:44 am; edited 1 time in total
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AfganisDan
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:38 am

Dan Maskell is in his locker room laid out on the floor watching Alcatraz.

OT: Promo should be up this week gents.
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sat Apr 28, 2012 1:39 pm

The Mexican Mafia are backstage, still preparing for their matches on the next two EFNW shows.
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sun Apr 29, 2012 8:47 am

Future Surge wrote:
Who's ready for 2 rape-to-rape episodes of Extreme Fag Nation Wrestling? I may be.

We'll see how me distracting myself from my problems by watching cartoons to attempt to relive the better portions of my childhood works out.
I have that exact same problem.

Also, I finish my exams in 3 weeks, so I'll be able to do shit again.
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:20 am

Surge is writing a poem...

Quote :
THE BEST SPACESHIP EVER!!
Quote :
It would fly out in space
It would have fins like a shark
And a clown for a face
Quote :
Its wings have propellers
And its sails catch the breeze
It runs on marshmallows
And it's wheels are skies
Quote :
The pilot is brave
He drinks...like my dad
He rarely takes showers
And yells when he's mad
Quote :
Surge!! What the Hell is wrong with this damn thing?!
The steering wheel's a fucking pretzel, dammit!!
HOLYSHIT-
Quote :
Then it plunges straight into the sun
And that bastard is never heard from again...
Quote :
WHAT?!
Surge- Surge, I'm breaking up-
Oh...God...it's a sauna in here...
What-what smells like burnt marshmallows?!
I'm sorry for everything I've ever-

Tsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...

Surge closes his journal and gets up from his coach.

"And that's the best spaceship ever..."
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TJ
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:39 am

Future Surge wrote:
Surge is writing a poem...

Quote :
THE BEST SPACESHIP EVER!!
Quote :
It would fly out in space
It would have fins like a shark
And a clown for a face
Quote :
Its wings have propellers
And its sails catch the breeze
It runs on marshmallows
And it's wheels are skies
Quote :
The pilot is brave
He drinks...like my dad
He rarely takes showers
And yells when he's mad
Quote :
Surge!! What the Hell is wrong with this damn thing?!
The steering wheel's a fucking pretzel, dammit!!
HOLYSHIT-
Quote :
Then it plunges straight into the sun
And that bastard is never heard from again...
Quote :
WHAT?!
Surge- Surge, I'm breaking up-
Oh...God...it's a sauna in here...
What-what smells like burnt marshmallows?!
I'm sorry for everything I've ever-

Tsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...

Surge closes his journal and gets up from his coach.

"And that's the best spaceship ever..."
Surge was sitting on an actual coach from a sports team.
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RED
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Tue May 01, 2012 7:07 pm

OT: Perhaps My last promo so...

We see one of the most hated superstars in pro wresting today, John Leopold sitting on a leather couch dressed in a white suit that fits a rich, undeserving bastard like him. There is small table next to him where he puts his favorite drink...Lemon Ice-Tea. Leopold takes a sip of his drink and then smiles.

"Aloha, My people My name is John Leopold and I am the greatest superstar in the world. That's of course something everybody knows and only a few can argue with. And those that argue with that will be convinced when I defeat Casey Anomaly here in his "home" as he calls it, EFNW. Extreme Fan Nation Wrestling. What a pathetic name anyway."

Leopold takes another sip of his Ice-Tea that only children and gay people find better than a beer.

"Let Me make this clear. The only reason I came into EFNW is to beat Casey Anomaly in a one on one match. Just one match. One match, one pin-fall, one, two, three! And that will be all. I will prove to the entire world that an under-rated guy like Me can beat an over-rated guy like Casey Anomaly. You see while I am the best wrestler/superstar alive everybody is talking about Casey Anomaly, Neville Ryan, Dan Maskell and of course the most lame superstar in the world that for some insane reason is the most over-hyped loser in the world, Cyrus Black. Yeah that's right. The "All Mighty" Cyrus Black is nothing but a drug-addicted, no good dummy. Cyrus is the reason that people all around the world mock our business and call it "fake". Cyrus is fake and lame and he is taking down not only EFNW, but ECCW, WWE and every other wrestling company in the world down with him. Except TNA, they go down by themselves."

John takes another sip of his lemon Ice-Tea.

"Someone may ask me why didn't I chose to go after that trash-can Cyrus or that faggot Neville Ryan or someone else that gets TV time they don't deserve. Why did I pick Casey Anomaly. Well I'll tell you why. Casey is the only person that needs to be exposed. Neville, Jarrett Calloway, Omega, Maskell, Will, they are all a bunch of losers. Cyrus is a guy everybody is cheering because his wins fake matches that the results are decided before every event. I know that because just like his daddy, I got money too and money can by everything, right Black? But even though Cyrus has bought all his titles and victories and is over-rated and over-hyped while he has nothing special, I kinda respect the guy. Well he is a bigger son of a bitch that I am. How can I not respect him? Casey is the only guy that needs to be exposed and I got just the facts I needed to show you."

Leopold takes one last sip from his Ice-Tea before the maid takes the empty cup off the table.

"I did My research and believe me, after all the things I discovered about Casey I feel like I was born yesterday! Let's start with the fact that his father was beating him for 10 long years until the day that little Casey and his friend from the hood beat down Casey's dad in a parking lot. No one saw "Senior Anomaly" after that event, which makes me think: Is Casey a murder? I'll let you people decide. Let's talk about his mother. Casey's mom was a total BITCH! Excuse me but I can't find a more fitting word to use. You see Casey's parent's werent married when he was born, in fact they never got married. They weren't even in a relationship. They had different "love partners". One day Casey's mom and her boy friend and Casey's dad and his girlfriend decided to have a...how you call it? Foursome! 9 months later...poof! There goes Casey! So we can clearly say that Casey was born via an orgy! Wow! How romantic! The only reason you came to life Cas is because your parents and their love partners were as sick as hell! So you came out and ruined their lives. Your mom and dad started living together without loving each other because of you. That's why your father was beating you up and that's why your mommy hated you and she still does! That's why you grew up in the streets. You never had a home. You never had a family. You were always a poor...BASTARD!"

Leopold laughs.

"I know it's wrong but...Oh man! It's so sad if you think it but it feels so good to know that you people were cheering for a bastard who came out of an orgy!"

Leopold keeps laughing.

"I knew that it was worth it! I knew that I made the right choice by picking you because you My friend are the most entertaining bastard I have ever seen in My life! So Cas, have you ever been in an orgy before? You may have a son that you should beat up right now!"

Leopold laughs again.

"My only hope Cas is that one day you will admit to yourself that you will never be loved by anyone and you will never find piece in your soul. When you do that, I have a proposal for you. Face me in a one on one loser leaves EFNW No Holds Barred match or quit EFNW by yourself and come work for me in Leopold enterprises. You will have a job with good money and you will survive. You have one week Casey. One week to make a decision. Face me and lose everything, or quit and come under My wings. Think about it bastard."

Leopold starts laughing again as the screen fades.
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Thu May 03, 2012 9:51 pm

For not being active here, I will be posting a promo that will be here AND in CPW. It will be amazing.
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Thu May 03, 2012 10:38 pm

THE FOLLOWING IS SHOWN ON THE TITANTRONS OF BOTH THE EFNW AND THE CPW ARENAS.

Omega sits in a dark room, wide-eyed, his head taped up, as he looks to the floor, hands cupped together. He looks up into the camera, staring at it. He shows anger in his face, as he heavily breathes, the blood-stained tape on his head clearly visible, and he just holds his head.

Mr. 100% | Omega

“Surge, obviously, no matter where I go, I have to teach Surge a lesson. No matter where I go, he’s there, it’s sickening. I can’t get him out of my hair, for good. EFNW, CPW, it’s both the same. In EFNW, I’ve taken him to his limit and beyond, and he still comes after me. Now I have to target his friends and family while he just sits back and rests, as defend my title in 15 minute matches just to get to his family and friends. First there was Kyle O’Rapely, then there was Jimmy Sanchez, and soon, it’ll be Noeleen Phoenix. It’s obvious that I’m still EFNW TV Champion, and have been since I became the first champion. What really makes me angry is the fact that when I get through them all, I’ll defend my title against Surge himself, and win. Why does that make me angry? Because I wanna end this now, I wanna get Surge out of my hair so I can become EFNW Heavyweight Champion once and for all. But with Surge being too scared to face me head-to-head, as I barrel through anyone he holds dear, making me work up a sweat, so I can be weaker when we finally go face to face. Surge, it’s not working. Your hoping I’ll lose my title in one of these matches, and I’m happy to defend my title, I’m a fighting champion. What I want to know is, why wait? Why wait for me to go through these people, when you can protect them, protect them from a monster who wants the taste of blood. Surge, protect them, face me now.”

Omega leans closer to the camera, breathing heavily.

“And while all this was happening, I signed a contract with CPW, Chaos Pro Wrestling, where I barrel through people, and get to Defiance Day. In the CPW Championship match, I face Will Williams, Surge’s best friend it so happens, and what happens after I’m beaten? I go for revenge, revenge that I deserve, but as Will is on my shoulders, Surge’s theme hits, and out he comes. He hits me with the Murder Day Plunge, and I lay in the ring, senseless. Will’s the reason I’m wearing this blood-stained tape right now, but Surge is the entire reason for why I’m talking right now. In EFNW I take you farther than your limits, but you have the nerve to attack me post-match after I lose to Williams, blood flowing down my face, like a true champion. And yet, I walk out of Defiance Day, gold-less. I can admit I lost fairly, but what I can’t stand is how Surge is doing whatever he can, going wherever I am, just to try and get a piece of me. When it comes to you and me Surge, whether it be EFNW or CPW, I will always be better than you. The fans may love you, and hate me, but when it comes to in-ring skills, I am #1. It’s cause I’m ‘Mr. 100%’ Omega, and that means I’m 100% better than everyone else on the planet.”

Omega stands up and pushes the camera over, and the camera turns off.
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Thu May 03, 2012 11:10 pm

Off: When the fuck is a show gonna get put up
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sat May 05, 2012 4:40 am

OT: The Anniversary Show marks the end of this season for EFNW Wrestling. In the next season, every championship will be labelled as defunct, aside from the EFNW Wrestling Championship which will remain in the hands of Cyrus Black. Hopefully Marik can post the upcoming show soon.
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sat May 05, 2012 8:23 am

Kira wrote:
OT: The Anniversary Show marks the end of this season for EFNW Wrestling. In the next season, every championship will be labelled as defunct, aside from the EFNW Wrestling Championship which will remain in the hands of Cyrus Black. Hopefully Marik can post the upcoming show soon.

What why?
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Elevator Music
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sat May 05, 2012 8:48 am

Bad move imo..
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sat May 05, 2012 8:54 am

Yo, what the fuck? What about the feud Nova and I have going over unifying the midcard titles?
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sat May 05, 2012 9:07 am

If you haven't already noticed ... EFNW is basically dead as of right now. I'm gonna let the Champions keep their belts for the next season which will start very soon (probably after the Anniversary), but things seem to be dead around here. Marik has been talking about quitting and the shows have been incredibly slow, so it seems like the smart move to start fresh and recreate the usual EFNW vibe.

If you have any objections, feel free to retort.
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sat May 05, 2012 9:21 am

Kira wrote:
If you haven't already noticed ... EFNW is basically dead as of right now. I'm gonna let the Champions keep their belts for the next season which will start very soon (probably after the Anniversary), but things seem to be dead around here. Marik has been talking about quitting and the shows have been incredibly slow, so it seems like the smart move to start fresh and recreate the usual EFNW vibe.

If you have any objections, feel free to retort.

Screw Marik. I figure he's got plenty of shit going on, but he could have said something about it. It does seem like EFNW is basically dead and I'm kinda pissed that I didn't get to see where my feud would go, but at this point, nobody is here anymore and nobody will probably see any of this anyways. If you're to keep it, I reccomend starting almost completely from scratch. Make a new sign up thread, get more people in, and make sure you have match writers you can rely on. Marik writes fantastic shit, but as you can see, he's gotten lost in reality.

Still really dissappointed in Riff and Nova's feud not ending, but whatever.
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sat May 05, 2012 9:46 am

RifRad wrote:
Kira wrote:
If you haven't already noticed ... EFNW is basically dead as of right now. I'm gonna let the Champions keep their belts for the next season which will start very soon (probably after the Anniversary), but things seem to be dead around here. Marik has been talking about quitting and the shows have been incredibly slow, so it seems like the smart move to start fresh and recreate the usual EFNW vibe.

If you have any objections, feel free to retort.

Screw Marik. I figure he's got plenty of shit going on, but he could have said something about it. It does seem like EFNW is basically dead and I'm kinda pissed that I didn't get to see where my feud would go, but at this point, nobody is here anymore and nobody will probably see any of this anyways. If you're to keep it, I reccomend starting almost completely from scratch. Make a new sign up thread, get more people in, and make sure you have match writers you can rely on. Marik writes fantastic shit, but as you can see, he's gotten lost in reality.

Still really dissappointed in Riff and Nova's feud not ending, but whatever.
I'll let Marik finish the season with a final show and then after a month or two, I'll launch the new season. I can easily keep the Nova/Riff feud alive, it won't be a hassle at all.
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sat May 05, 2012 10:37 am

Speaking of which, is it just me or does this site as a whole seem rather dead?
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sat May 05, 2012 11:29 am

I'm gonna get shit done this weekend. Quick results for the past 2 weeks, followed by the T4, then this week's show.

Srsly, though, if anyone wants/needs/whatever to talk to me, just do it. Riff, you have my number as well as my Facebook and shit - you could've aired your grievances there. Everything ends at the Anniversary, by the way, whether it's Riff/Nova, the final World Champ for the time, etc.
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sat May 05, 2012 12:48 pm

If need be, I can do shows to keep this going.
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sat May 05, 2012 12:48 pm

Adam wrote:
Speaking of which, is it just me or does this site as a whole seem rather dead?
Yeah I feel ya, it's going through a rough patch. I think starting a fresh season of EFNW will help create a little bit of a buzz.

And this week I'm gonna' post the quick result show for CWW that's like 30 weeks overdue Cool
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PostSubject: Re: EFNWrestling || Black Magic Fuckery   Sun May 06, 2012 7:18 am

Hi all...

I am back once again.

John btw.

Whenever Hazza does the new season I will sign back up.

Might help me get back into this again.
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